Events begin at 3 p.m. on Saturday, where a handful of college kids go from being BMOC’s to multimillionaires. Admittedly, that’s the cynical view. In my younger days of greater fandom, it was a chance to see who I’d be rooting for — and against — for at least the next few years.
So let’s bring this around to NASCAR. Forget the minor inconveniences of legally-binding contracts for a moment; let’s say Yates Racing is on the clock, picking the driver they’ll employ for at least the next three years.
Who would they take? A pretty easy call, I think.
This is my list of how a NASCAR draft would go. Now it may be easy to think this is simply the list of Cup’s best drivers; it’s not. NFL teams don’t simply draft the best player available. Certainly that happens frequently, but character, positional need and how a player fits into a scheme also matters. With that in mind, my draft will rely on several factors: winning (the most important, obviously), reputation, fan base and the ability to sell a product and represent a company.
(Let me also say that only in the course of research did I discover that our friends at Yahoo had conducted much the same exercise. I have not looked at their story for guidance, nor was I aware of their story when I started typing this. I promise. We’ll compare the two at the end.)
Now hush. Mike Helton is walking to the podium.
“With the first pick in the once-a-decade NASCAR Draft,” he booms, “Yates Racing selects ... Tony Stewart.”
A no-brainer. Stewart can win on any track at any time, his knock as a slow starter notwithstanding. Moreover, when he gets hot, no one touches him; streaks of three straight wins aren’t uncommon.
If you can stand the occasional outbursts, which may be appealing for a fair number of his fans, then Stewart’s a deserving top pick.
Helton’s back, sauntering across the stage. Hey, this sure does move a lot faster than the NFL Draft.
“With the second pick, Red Bull Racing selects ... Carl Edwards.”
Another solid choice. The affable Edwards is a heck of a driver, too; he runs very well — and wins frequently — on the Cup circuit’s most populous track, the mid-banked, 1.5-miler. He’s a solid citizen, especially if you overlook the one incident that’s marred his character, the run-in last season with teammate Matt Kenseth. But all has been quiet since.
“With the third pick, Petty Enterprises selects Jimmie Johnson.”
It shouldn’t be surprising that Johnson, here, slipped to third. His driving ability is unquestioned; but his two championships from the past two seasons have as much to do with crew chief Chad Knaus, an inescapable part of the operation. Still, Johnson has won at any and every type of track during the past two seasons. He falls to the third spot because, occasionally, he comes across as a bit robotic.
“With the fourth pick, Furniture Row Racing takes Dale Earnhardt Jr.”
A smart pick for the Denver-based startup, which lends instant credibility. Earnhardt is the country’s most popular driver; as such, he gets picked apart more than anyone else. His driving acumen has been questioned, though he’s proven this season he can take good equipment and make it sing. He’s on the verge of ending a losing streak; we think it’ll happen sooner, not later.
“With the fifth pick, Michael Waltrip Racing selects Kyle Busch.”
A brash youngster, Busch — like his real-world teammate, Stewart — can win anywhere, anytime. But he can be more of a headache, lashing out and bashing people but without the cachet of Stewart. Rick Hendrick was happy to trade Busch for Earnhardt.
I’ll spare you the analysis, but the rest of my top 15 would look like this (and you can guess which teams get which drivers):
6. Jeff Gordon.
7. Kasey Kahne.
8. Greg Biffle.
9. Clint Bowyer.
10. Matt Kenseth.
11. Kevin Harvick.
12. Jeff Burton.
13. Denny Hamlin.
14. Kurt Busch.
15. Juan Pablo Montoya.
I think that’s a pretty solid top 15. If you picked any three of those drivers, you’d have a pretty darn good organization.
And now that I’m finished, we’ll see how Yahoo’s draft turned out: The disagreements are mostly minor; there’s no way I would draft Johnson first unless he brought Knaus with him, as we mentioned above. Hamlin was a bit of a reach at eight — though he’s got tons of potential, he’s still the third man at Gibbs — as Martin, now in a part-time role at DEI, at 12.
(Photo by Tony Gutierrez/Associated Press)
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It’s that time of year again, time for the biggest, most-hyped non-event in all of big-time sports: the NFL Draft.